Sunday, July 5, 2015

Bits and pieces into its place

For the past few months, i couldn't help myself but to think that life has so so much to offer but i wasted two years looking through high school romance and bullshits like that. But since the day i pledged that i would change for the better, i realized that almost everything that happens has its own philosophy. Cliche, i know.

Every single thing that you do, every step, every routine, everything; has its lessons. For example, i came across this odd idea while doing the dishes. Why do we stack the smaller plates on top of the larger ones? Why don't we put the smaller ones on the bottom or randomly put it in the middle? Because if we do so, the stack would be unstable and it will tumble over. Same goes in real life. If we give the younger lads (which are lack of experience and has a higher chance of flipping over everything) with bigger responsibilities than the ones with much more experience and patience, wouldn't the whole system go down the drain?

Anyway, that's half of what i wanted to say. But you can't deny that what i stated was true. Everything has its lessons. Be it doing the dishes or going to work, everything can be made into a life lesson and philosophies (which sometimes may not be a good thing, but whatever)

My point is, after having to take a few months to recover from the idiocy i brought to myself, i'm finally gaining my sanity back and i finally feel like i'm having a grip of my own life again. True, age doesn't define maturity. I don't claim to be "matured enough", but being "matured enough" is so overrated and subjective. But i definitely feel much more different than how i felt six months ago.

For example, I finally learn where to put my gift and talent of talking into work. As i mentioned in the previous post, i'm currently coaching silat here and there. For the first time in my five years of coaching silat, i finally get to get my hands on a group of students that has a higher level of concentration and adherence compared to those i coached before ((so mean of me to mengata my own students)). Every instruction, every command is fulfilled without complaints. They obeyed and followed orders accordingly which made me want to go to a corner and have my proud coach moment. Kah. Anyway my point is, i finally made use of my talent in talking and persuading.

I've always wanted to feel the pleasure and satisfaction of teaching and guiding people, like a teacher. However i've always doubted myself whether i'm capable of teaching a group of kids which may or may not be interested in what i had to say. So the dream of being an educator stops there, because of my own insecurities. However after given the chance to meet this group of amazing kids, i'm beginning to think that maybe i should give it a try. God knows when or where, though. But i will try to get myself into a classroom and actually teach, formally.

Things are finally falling into its place, and i'm excited to see what life has to offer me in the days to come. Be it hell or high water, i'm more than glad to stand my ground and prove that the Aina i was looking for is still here, deep inside. I just need to keep on looking.

Semoga Tuhan redha.

Happy 18th Ramadhan!

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