Thursday, November 20, 2014

Post #4: what am i afraid of

Everyone in this world has fears, regardless of how big the scope of their wilts and worries are. As a growing teenager with weird and raging hormones, i would say my biggest fear now is losing the people i actually care about. As someone that finds herself getting attached to people that she finds complacent.. losing them is something i can't bear imagine happening.

Whether its a friend or family, as long as he or she means something to me, i would definitely break down. I can literally count the number of real friends i have, that sincerely befriends me not for what i have but for what i am. They are the ones that i would protect and be there whenever they need me, as much as how they were there for me. I would fight for them and would never give up on them because i know what i'm fighting for.

Being that attached to someone that much makes me realize that i'm really pretending to be strong when the reality is.. i'm actually not. I'm weak and fragile, i need someone to lean on and i need someone to be there for me through everything. I know how people say that getting too attached is actually dangerous because the more i care, the more i get hurt. Well that's true. But really, i don't mind getting hurt even if its the people i care about hurts me. As long as i don't lose them. Well maybe i deserve it, maybe i don't. I really don't care.

Losing someone i care about is the last thing i would ever want to happen. I would fight for them, i would protect them, and i would sacrifice for them. But not losing them.

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