Friday, February 28, 2014

Growing up


This is the phase that i've tried to imagine for entah how many times. This is the phase where i have to apply here and there just to get a spot to study. This is the phase where i have to worry about having enough money to survive the week. This is the phase where there's no latecomer for breakfast and not attending classes is your own loss. This is the phase where my life actually begins.

After 3 months (( December, January and February )) of being lazy and doing nothing productive, i'm finally coming to that phase of keeping myself busy and doing things that are related to my future (( yeke? ))

There's just so many things on my mind that i can't even translate them into words. I want to. But i can't. I don't know how. Talking and writing now has become something awkward to do. Well i've been doing myself a favor by doing some Additional Mathematics exercises, and guess what? I forgot most of the basics. Not good though.

Oh i just passed my JPJ driving test a few days ago. Yeay me then. The feeling isn't so great when you're worrying about your SPM results. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful, yes i am. But i worry about something bigger yknow?

Plus the weird dreams i've been experiencing for the past few weeks. Allahu. Most of them are just heart-throbbing. Looks like those dreams are the main reason of why i can't move on from my high school years yet. This is just depressing. And pathetic. When i was i school, i wished it would end very fast. But when it did, i miss it so much. Such contrary -.-'

Dreaming of my results is one thing. Dreaming of the moments i've shared with my batchmates; those weird, sad, happy, frustrating moments. Not forgetting those adorable teachers that are just one in a million. I can never deny that i'm very grateful that i moved to Kurshiah during my upper form years. There are the times that made me feel like i just want to burn the school down but hey, those are the things that i remember most. (( Although they're frustrating ))

"You can take me out of Kurshiah, but you can never take Kurshiah out of me"

CAN SOMEONE JUST HELP ME MOVE ON FROM SCHOOL?!

Future plans for pursuing my studies? My hopes are so high yet my chances are unknown. 
Ya Allah permudahkanlah...

I'm just worried. Very. Worried. But don't worry. I'm keeping my hopes up high and my head down low; Tsiqqah.

#buktikan

1:25AM, 28th February 2014

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