Sunday, January 27, 2013



A friend of mine, a pretty, intelligent, bright, clever, creative and amazing friend of mine.. passed away a few weeks ago due to AVM. Please, i beg of you to pray for her. Lots and lots of Al-Fatihah for her. 

Noorsafrina Idaraturrahmah bt Riza Abdillah
7th January 2013; 3.55AM

She was a fighter. Yes she was. She never gave up. And it was as if she knew that it was her time. In the last few pages of her diary, she sketched and wrote 'Beautiful Goodbye'. Her mum scanned it and laminated the page. Her mum even distributed it to all of her batchmates. When i got it, tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help it.

Immediately, there was like a flashback of the day she left us all. It was a Monday. And it was the Puteri Berangkat and the form one's registration day. At 2 o'clock, the fivers headed to Masjid Bukit Indah in Ampang. We arrived about 45 minutes before Asar prayers. When we entered the masjid, each and every one of us was shaking. Right after performing our Zuhur prayers, we settled down and recited Yasiin for her.

When her dad started to talk, tears were streaming down each and every one of us. We couldn't help it. When we got a closer look, there wasn't any tears. But when her grandma told us that we could kiss her goodbye, i was trying to do so. I got down on my knees, and there I was, right beside her. Staring at her pallid and bruised lips.

But when one by one of my batchmates knelt down to kiss her, i couldn't do it. I just couldn't. But i didn't move. I sat right beside her when they were kissing her goodbye. Then her mum came up and wished us thanks for coming. When she pleaded for forgiveness on behalf of her, we just couldn't hold our tears. Well i know i couldn't.

Right after the azan for Asar prayers, her mum, dad and grandma said that it was time to finally tie everything up. And there i was, beside her. Watching, pleading in my heart that Allah would bring her back to life. But it wasn't worth it. Even if she did survive, she would be suffering. All i could do was to let her go. Then a few men came and covered her with a coffin. That was really the climax to my tears. I couldn't hold it any longer. I burst till i almost faint.

It was a heartthrob. Really, it was. But i was grateful that i was one of the last few that saw her in person though there's no soul in her. My eyes were pretty beaten up and i couldn't breathe properly. Just thinking about the last few moments before she got the headache just rips my heart.

Imagine, a week before the got the headache, i was in her dorm, laughing along with her. And on the day she got sick, i told Batt that i would go and try to massage her. But i didn't make it because her mum came by and pick her up that night. Just thinking of that makes me sad and i feel so regretful. I feel like i should have went earlier. Although it would make no difference, atleast i wouldn't feel so guilty.

Saff, you will be missed. Forever and always. You will forever be a pure blood Vivacious. I love you.


Aina Shobri.

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