in the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
*this is a late post. a very late one.
well, the picture says it all, doesn't it?
when i got this text, i was at Angah's place.
the moment it read it, my heart stopped beating for a second there.
i couldn't believe it. and tears were falling.
i couldn't help it.
just a few days before, i was texting with her, trying to comfort her.
to stay strong for the sake of her sister and for the sake of arwah.
i got up and took my shower. i woke up pretty late.
missed my Subuh pun.
terpaksa Subuh gajah -.-'
i fought with myself, thinking whether i should call her or not.
but i decided not to, thinking that maybe she's not in the mood.
so i texted her. in my text, i couldn't help but just to ask whether her sister already knows abt it or not. it'll be such a heart break if the news is already out to her sister.
i wasn't expecting her reply at the moment.
so i rushed with Angah and Mimi.
as we were heading to Pocket C, i received a text.
it was a reply from her. a short one.
that was around 7.40 or something. i can't recall.
but i replied a long one.
i waited for her reply. instead, she called.
it took alot of her to call, i know.
she just needed someone to talk to at that time.
of what she said, the moment she entered the ward,
everything was already zero. no pulse. no heartbeat. nada.
i couldn't even imagine her feelings at that very moment.
she haven't stop crying for hours.
and a typical question to her from me was,
well that's a stupid one isn't that? har har.
but seeming that it was already 7.55 or something like that and class starts at 8.00,
i had to hang up. i was dead guilty.
i know she needed someone. just to talk to.
but i was too stupid to rush into the class whereas the class doesn't relate to me.
oh c'mon, Vector of Calculus. seriously? -.-"
at around 10am, i called her.
she was a bit better then before.
her voice didn't sound as horrible as before. hihi maaf buk!
yadda yadda yadda,
at around 1pm, i called her again.
she sounded better. way better.
well she can laugh, that's good.
if i'm her, i couldn't even imagine what i'd be doing.
cry? sleep? or even hurt myself? :\
all and all, what i can say is.. she's a tough one. a very very tough one.
she hides her sorrow for sake of others.
she puts on a heartless face and pretends like she don't care.
she fakes a smile and laughs along.
but the fact is she's broken up inside.
but i'm glad that she's getting better now.
they're picking it up real fast and really accepting the fate with open hearts.
masyaAllah, such strong hearts.
"Allah tidak akan memberati seseorang melainkan apa yang terdaya olehnya."
Al Baqarah: 286
Allah surely knows what's best.
for you, for me and for everyone in the world.